now how to respond to this difficult emotion. Being In A BardoThe word bardo is a Buddhist term often used for the after-death experience. But it also describes the gap triggered by any unexpected crisis. The shock of illness, death, or any kind of loss can be the most brutal Read more…
For the first half hour bumping through the clouds in this small plane I’ve been trying to make small talk with the guy sitting next to me. The weather. Is this vacation or work? Where is home? Short questions and answers, then we fall silent. My mind drifts to my Read more…
Recently a wind storm knocked over one of my favourite trees in our neighbourhood, a large cedar that must have been about 200 years old. City workers moved in with saws to shave the new stump, revealing the wide and narrow rings that tell the story of seasons of drought Read more…
Mindful Communication; A Mirror for Effective Feedback Kris, the woman sitting next to me on the plane, was returning from what she called a ‘new kind’ of management conference. “What was different about it?” I asked, curious about her enthusiasm. “Everything!” she said. “ The first thing Read more…
Last week around 45 people celebrated New Year’s in a silent winter retreat in the heart of downtown San Francisco. Along with plenty of sitting meditation, we were exploring what happens when we make a commitment , like quitting smoking or drinking or spending more time in conversation Read more…
Blessings and Hearts Today my American family and friends are celebrating Thanksgiving. Internet sites are posting stories about all we have to be thankful for. In particular, I was reading a text by psychologist Dr. Robert Emmons about the power that gratitude has to transform our lives. His spiritual Read more…
Joy slips into my life by surprise. I click an e-mail attachment and the eyes of my friend’s new-born baby blink open. The traffic’s stopped in the rain at a construction zone– out of nowhere, a brilliant rainbow! A spring sparrow’s song filters through my bedroom window. Last week, the Read more…
Normally we think of mindfulness as a peaceful experience. But there is an unbearably painful side to this practice of waking up. For me, this happens when a story from the news comes to life and pierces my heart like an arrow. The other day I heard details of the rape Read more…
I’m grateful to have been invited to join the radio program An Organic Conversation http://www.anorganicconversation.com/ on March 17. The topic is listening as love. To me, this is the magic of mindful communication. Here’s a simple formula for this: Stop! Look! Listen! STOP: The first stage of Read more…
Using mindful communication as a relationship practice is like a magic mirror. Just like the fairy tale queen, we want this mirror to tell us the truth but secretly we sometimes would rather not know. If we look carefully into the mirror of our conversations, it’s possible to catch our Read more…